The Stumble Inn

"...Even BASIC PSYCHOLOGY ISN'T THE SAME IN THIS UNIVERSE?" His face turned red. "...But... Ack... Fine, I'll handle this myself." Hal pulled out his laser pistol, and walked out to Dent.

"You're back, splendid. Just remember our little rule."

"Listen up, evildoer! I will not have you terrorize this town! If you continue with your antics, I will be forced to defeat you, in the name of go--"
BANG. Hal leapt back, his eyes wide. "...Did you just shoot at me?"

"Yup. I don't much like ham, cheese, or corn."

"But I wasn't done my speech."

"Life's a bitch, ain't it?"

Hal's eyes went wide, and he dropped his laser pistol as he walked back inside. He didn't even glance at Mel as he went to the bar, and opened up a bottle of whiskey, downing it.

Mel sat down on a nearby table and watched him. "That's probably not good for you."

"Okay, first, I can't rouse you to action, even when I give you one of my SPEECHES. MY SPEECHEs. Next, someone shoots me in the MIDDLE OF A SPEECH! That's just... And it's pretty obvious that emotional bonds don't happen as quickly here as they do in my world... So it's going to be a very lonely existance." He sighed. "Besides, if I can't do anything, and you won't do anything, it's only a matter of time before she goes ballistic."

". . . No, mostly they just camp out there until they get bored when something like this happens."

"...You're saying she's just going to get bored, or hungry, or scared or something similar and just come inside, without the gun eventually?"

"Oh, she'll continue to be threatening for a while, usually, until she realizes that we really aren't trying to do anything."

Dent sighed, relaxing on the plane, before her body started to assimilate Taban's nearby features. All of a sudden, Dent felt itchy. She scratched at the itches, and then felt bumps. Looking into her jumpsuit, her eyes widened. "...I am flowering..."

Hal sighed, and looked at the ground. "...Right. That makes sense. But... This world is hard on me. Before you, I've yet to meet a woman who didn't want to sleep with me right away. Not that there's anything WRONG with that... Just sort of a kick to the ego."

Mel looks Hal up and down and shrugs. "You're just not that attractive."

"...I'm not attractive? Really? Is it the muscles?"

". . . It's just the whole youness of you."

Hal's jaw dropped. "...OUCH." He stared at himself for a few moments. "My pride. It's..." He huffed in and out. "But... Is this a personality thing? I mean, I know I can be overbearing, but... God damn, woman, all of me?"

Mel shrugged and wandered off, grabbing a rag and wiping down the fogged up windows. "You're just not attractive."

"So was the whole boyfriend thing true, or were just trying to spare my feelings?"

Dent walked casually inside, wringing out her hair. "It started raining, so I figured I would take my chances with you guys."

Hal turned to her. "You! Do I look attractive to you?"

"...Dude, you look like a comic book character. Your muscles are hilariously huge, your jaw is just WAY too square, your ears look funny, your eyes are too small for your face, and you have girly pencil eyebrows. No."

"Universism!"

Mel doesn't bother replying to Hal's question, smiling quietly to herself as she continues wiping down the windows. She hums a funeral march to herself.

Dent rolled her eyes as Hal started to freak out, and walked over to Mel. "Um... Suddenly, I'm beginning to... Erm, flower in strange places and I was wondering if you had hedgeclippers, or..." With her nearness to Mel, her body adapted, lowering its endorphin count to match hers. "...I'm sad now."

Hal continued to go ballistic in the background.

Mel looked over at Dent, sighing. "The world is full of suffering. Everyone is sad. . . "

"...No, I think I get it. My body is picking up on other people's features. I got sad because someone else in here is sad. God damn neuroscience..."

Kiya left the crew of The Blood Diamond on board the ship with the command to stay put until she got back. She walked through the fog looking for something familar. Up ahead she spotted what appeared to be an inn and entered. When she entered she heard the woman wiping the windows say to a large man, "You're just not attractive." She looked over at the man in question and had to silently agree, he just was not cute in any form of the word. She followed the conversation without moving from the door, as she did not wish to be noticed just yet.

She had spotted Elena's ship at the dock but did not see her in the small crowd.

After Dent, moved over to Mel, she commented to herself, "he really is not that attractive,' shaking her head, 'why does he think he is?" Outloud she said, "Is this an inn or a social club?" She a let down her long brown hair and flipped her hair over her shoulder.

Hal looked up at her. "Oh, great. Another pirate. Let me guess... You're somehow related to Ms. Blackraven, who is retrieving my ward at the moment."

Dent looked up at the pirate, picking up her machismo. "Oh-ho-ho. We doing something you don't like there, princess?"

Elena left Wesa and Kasei in Taban's care, then left the general store and started walking down the street. She returned to her ship and checed on her crew. As she was about to return to the Inn, she noticed the other ship docked there. A closer look revieled a very familiar figurehead.

"Kiya...." she said softly to herself. She quickly left the ship and hurried back to the Inn.

"Oh, don't mind me, I just was looking for a place to sleep besides me ship.... I was also wondering if anyone here has seen Elena? Who, by the way, I am not related to." She stepped closer to the group. When she did she got a better look at the man and said to herself, "well he's not half bad looking after all.' She added with a smirk 'bet she's dominant" and looked at Dent.

Dent raised an eyebrow, and shook her head. "Excuse me, but I'm only a 'she' for the moment. Once I figure out how to change back, I'll fix my ship and go back to gunning down angels and demons." She blinked, reached a hand into her jumpsuit, and pulled out a thorn. "...I better not start pollinating." She sighed, and tossed it away. "But, anyways, I am Denton, friends call me Dent, and you can call me "Sir." or "Ma'am." since I'm with the military and am officially placign this town under martial law until I can be sure no demons or anything are infesting this place."

Hal glared at her. "Okay, I'm fairly sure we have established that any authority you would have in your homeworld is dissolved here. Now go knit, or paint your nails or something and let the grown-ups talk."

"Up yours with a lightning rod."

Melanie sighed and wrung her hands. "Please try to keep the peace. I'm so used to it being peaceful. I don't think I can take anymore fighting. . . so please. . ?" She gave them a semi-hopeful look, even though she knew full well that something terrible was about to happen, as it usually did.

Hal sighed, and rubbed his forehead. "...I'm sorry, Mel. You're right." He wanted to be reasonable for his new patron, even if she did call him ugly.

Dent rolled her eyes. "This is bugging you? I've been almost gunned down by cherubs. CHERUBS. As in the cute little baby thingies."

Mel smiled at Hal. "Thank you. Please, everyone be reasonable like him! Well. . . as he is now."